Showing posts from August, 2015

Knowing God - an extract

I shared this with my cell group recently because I've been so impacted by it. This passage from a book I got totally transformed how I relate to God. So, I thought who better to share it with than with you, my lovely reader. 
Here goes!
It is clear, to start with, that "knowing" God is of necessity a more complex business than "knowing" another person, just as "knowing" my neighbour is a more complex business than "knowing" a house, or a book, or a language. The more complex the object, the more complex is the knowing of it. Knowledge of something abstract, like a language, is acquired by learning; knowledge of something intimate, like Bukit Timah Hill or the Singapore Art Museum, comes by inspection and exploration. These activities, though demanding in terms of concentrated effort, are relatively simple to describe. But when one gets to living things, knowing them becomes a good deal more complicated. One does not know…

Redeeming Depression

Have been meaning to blog but I’ve been just too depressed to do so. No trigger, just a chemical imbalance in that old brain of mine. But watching Disney’s Inside Out today was great! 
Spoiler alert!
It is a story of five different emotions in an 11-year-old’s brain. Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust. Initially, Joy dominated and wanted to run the entire show. Eventually, she realised that Sadness had an important part to play too. Not to give everything away, but I absolutely love how Joy and Sadness collaborated in such a way to save the day. 
I have been thinking a lot about this.
Recently when faced with a fresh bout of depression, I blasted happy music. One of which was Hillsong’s Young and Free’s This is Living.
It’s a great song. What with lyrics like,
“Waking up, knowing there’s a reasonAll my dreams come aliveLife is for living with You”
Happy music indeed. :)
And with the encouragement of my vocal coach, I deleted all the emo music that makes me weep on the commute. So JJ Lin a…


Someone once mentioned to me that I crush on people very easily. From my experience in the past 5 years, I cannot help but agree. For the uninitiated, “to crush on” refers to me becoming infatuated with someone, as opposed to “crushing something (like a can)”. The word “crush” has certainly evolved, like many other words in the English language.
This post will mainly be dwelling on my crushes, the implications, and how I intend to deal with them going forward.
Well, how many have I crushed on? Let me count the girls. 
There was J. that I wanted so badly in 2010 when I was pretty sick. She was the first and only one I confessed my feelings to and who then suddenly disappeared from my life (which was not necessarily a bad thing - I think God was, and is, gracious). 
This was followed by S. that was a year long thing in 2011. There was a poem I wrote on the train home after a meeting with her.
Then came L. that lasted for a really short while.
Which was replaced by C. in 2013 that was so all-c…

Book review: Understanding Gender Dysphoria by Mark A. Yarhouse

I chanced upon this book while aimlessly browsing through Instagram. Someone had posted a photograph of couple of books he was reading and one of them was this. Intrigued, I decided rather quickly that I was gonna get a copy with my next paycheque.

Mark Yarhouse does not disappoint. This is a work written by a clinical psychologist who'd worked with those who identify as trans for many years. But apart from the in depth understanding he provides, he is also an elder in church and provides a refreshingly nuanced view of how to approach this topic often scarred by controversy.

In 7 concise chapters, he covers much ground, the titles of each chapter speak for themselves:

1. Gender Identity, Gender Dysphoria and Appreciating Complexity
2. A Christian Perspective on Gender Dysphoria
3. What Causes Gender Dysphoria?
4. Phenomenology and Prevalence
5. Prevention and Treatment of Gender Dysphoria
6. Toward a Christian Response: At the Level of the Individual
7. Toward a Christian Respons…

Knowing the Father - an excerpt

Thomas Goodwin, a seventeenth-century Puritan pastor, wrote that one day he saw a father and son walking along the street. Suddenly the father swept the son up into his arms and hugged him and kissed him and told the boy he loved him - and then after a minute he put the boy back down. Was the little boy more a son in the father's arms than he was down on the street? Objectively and legally, there was no difference, but subjectively and experientially, there was all the difference in the world. In his father's arms, the boy was experiencing his sonship.

When the Holy Spirit comes down on you in fullness, you can sense you Father's arms beneath you. It is an assurance of who you are. The Spirit enables you to say to yourself: "If someone as all-powerful as that loves me like this, delights in me, has gone to infinite lengths to save me, says he will never let me go, and is going to glorify me and make me perfect and take everything bad out of my life - if all of that is…

Scattered thoughts on a rainy day

Two nights ago I was in the train wondering if I should go to a gay bar after Church-wide Bible Study. It seems like every time I have a crush that would not resolve, I would want to go to there, despite clear instructions from God not to do so.

Well, there has been a recent workplace infatuation that has completely replaced the previous one. The worst thing is that I've only seen her once and I'm completely besotted. Now having read Timothy Keller's The Meaning of Marriage, I do understand that it is an image I am infatuated with, not the real person. This understanding does not make it any easier.

So just this past Wednesday, I was grappling with this workplace crush, and my tragic gay Christian life. And a word from my senior pastor changed my perspective 180.

It was incredible.

The Church-wide Bible Study was on the topic of the end-times, but it wasn't really that that captured my attention. I arrived extremely late, half an hour before it was scheduled to end, bu…