Showing posts from 2014

A brief review of 2014

It has been quite a year for anyone who's got an eye on all things LGBT in sunny Singapore. It started at the beginning of the year with the Health Promotion Board's FAQ on sexuality, followed by the wear white movement (to protest against Pink Dot) initiated by a Muslim and supported by Pastor Lawrence Khong of FCBC. Check out the sea of white in the auditorium they were in. Then came the National Library Board's saga over 3 books that they banned that had the whole nation talking.

I guess all these events could have been used as conversation starters and must have also provided much food for thought. Many articles and blog posts have been written both for and against these issues raised. But what's been ignored has probably got to be the closeted gay Christian found among various sanctuaries in this country.

How has this minority of minorities been supported this year? Could there be an FCBC member silently struggling with his or her sexuality but unable to express t…

X-dot (X-Men & Pink Dot)

I finally caught the latest X-Men movie, Days of Future Past, last Saturday. It was brilliant. I thought I'd blog about both the movie and the Pink Dot event because I felt like they were pretty related.

In X-Men, one line that stuck in my head was this:

"People are often afraid of the things they do not know."

I reckon that many in white that 28 June 2014 probably fall into that category. Of course, this is largely an assumption on my part but a valid assumption nonetheless. They probably (I'm assuming again) don't have a gay friend, or if they do, they probably don't have quality conversations with him/her. If they did, they'd probably realise that the average gay person doesn't have a "homosexual agenda". He or she just wants to love and be loved. That's it. That's all.

Yes, there are activists with an agenda, but they are few and far between. In any case, the government has indicated that it will not shift in its stance until th…

June holidays

It's June! During the very last session of the Choices (it's a support group that the Church of our Saviour runs for people dealing with same-sex attractions) that I went to, the pastor spoke about the importance of rest. 
That reminds me of something my mom likes to say: 休息是为了走更长远的路, which means that "Rest is required to complete the far longer journey that is ahead of you". 
So, I'm gonna take a holiday from blogging this June to rest and recharge. 

Wesley Hill: Spiritual Friendship - Biola University Chapel

Free Community Church

I made my first trip to Free Community Church on Easter Sunday with my good friend Ian. He wanted to visit and I decided to come along. 
Anyway, it was a surprise. I was expecting a rather traditional setting based on what I'd seen on their website - namely, readings from lectionary texts, but I was in for a surprise. 
The church was located in a building, not unlike one you might find in an industrial estate, but the sanctuary was rather "contemporary-evangelical" like. Spot lighting. Cushioned chairs set in a semi circle over a slightly raised stage. Modern looking musical ensemble plugged in and ready to worship. 
Worship was lovely. The keyboardist was really good looking and he played really well too. The rest of the musicians weren't too shabby either. 
The pastor wore a white collar and I was rather surprised by that - over how traditional he is. So Pastor Miak Siew preached and I tried to be as attentive as I could. What I couldn't shake off was the fact…

My crush


City Harvest Church

Just came back from dinner and service at church earlier. I love my church. Despite it all, this is home. I came to church in 2006 and have been here ever since. This is home truly, where I know must be; this is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home. Haha. 
Anyway, some have told me that City Harvest Church was kinda homophobic in the past but I never knew that side of CHC. All I know is that my pastor is one of the most accepting and loving people I know. Why do I say this? Well, even before I had what I call my "orientation conflict", in the 20th anniversary message right there in front of 20,000 people in the Singapore Indoor Stadium, he declared,
"We accept everyone, male or female, young or old, gay or straight, ...."
And I was like, "What did he say?!?!?!"
That just sealed it for me. Years later, I remembered that and I felt safe being in church. 
Things in my cell group could be rosier. I am out to …

Kinsey and me

I am 4.8 on Kinsey. How do I know that? Simple. 80% of my crushes and fantasies are on girls. And the remaining 20% on guys (this is based on a sample size of my 10 most recent crushes, 8 were female, 2 were male). Actually, I don't identify as lesbian, straight or gay. I am just me. My own label I have for myself is that of a "Child of God".

But labels help people understand me. So on this blog, I call myself gay. Because that's what society calls people who are attracted to those of the same-sex. I don't quite like how "lesbian" sounds, that's just me, and "queer" just doesn't click with me, and the churchy "same-sex attracted" is too much of a mouthful. Moreover, when you go, I have "SSA" it sounds like some sort of disease, and I bloody hate acronyms. So gay it is.

Anyway, a gay Christian is a happy Christian.

Get it?

Okay, maybe not…


Hello there. I'm Rachel and I'm a Christian living on the sunny island also known as Singapore, and guess what? I'm gay too.

I started this blog because I couldn't find anything like this out there and I know that there are others like me. If we conjecture that if a tiny 1% of the population's gay, that makes 50,000 gay folks out there. And if 20% are Christian, that makes 10,000 of us. So, know that you are not alone. 
Next, I hope that this platform would serve as an educational tool to all. Christians and non-Christians, gay and straight, male and female, young and old. Because there are some who aren't able to believe or even begin to comprehend how one can be gay and Christian at the same time. Haha. Sad but true. More on that in later posts. 
In addition, I believe that this place will also act as a journal that will chronicle my journey of how I try to reconcile the dichotomy of being a gay Christian. It's kinda like fried ice-cream. Sounds impossib…