Rewrite The Stars

You think it's easy
You think I don't want to run to you
But there are mountains
And there are doors we can't walk through
I know you're wondering why
Because we're able to be
Just you and me
Within these walls
But when we go outside
You're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all
No one can rewrite the stars
How can you say you'll be mine
Everything keeps us apart
And I'm not the one you're meant to find
It's not up to you, it's not up to me
When everyone tells us what we can be
How can we rewrite the stars?
Say that the world can be ours
Just watched The Greatest Showman tonight and this song gives me all the feels.

It's like my life they're singing about. My hopeless love story. How can we be together when the world just wants to tear us apart? When all around, frowns abound?

This is so sad.

Nevertheless, let's end on a happy note with this amazing song:


I'd been attending church for a year and a half now, and although some sermons demonised gay people, I thought after talking with the senior pastor and his wife, that it would stop.

Sadly, it didn't. On Christmas, I heard a sermon that highlighted two gay dads that'd sexually abused their adopted son.

I cried the entire night after that.

I do realise that the point was that man is depraved and evil and perhaps that was just a convenient example. But how would the gay teenager sitting amongst us in that congregation feel?

So I just told myself I had to take 6 months off from church to reevaluate my membership.

I somehow, after a talk with my ministry leader and another guy and that guy's wife, managed to drag myself to church last Sunday.

But as I sat there, my heart was anxiously waiting for the next gay slur, and I was bracing myself for it.

I think I can't live a life like that every Sunday morning is a time to practice what's I've learnt in CBT to calm …


"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross & follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it."
Mark 8:34-35
I just came back home after dinner and coffee with two other friends after remembering and talking about our friend who killed herself recently. We all met in the support group I attended so this loss was particularly sad for me.

During the meeting, my friend brought up a good point. She said that we should do everything we can to maintain our sanity and not kill ourselves.

That made me realise that I probably shouldn't keep attending a church that demonises people like myself.

Then my ministry leader texted me and asked me if I'd like to come to church with them this Sunday.

"I dunno," I replied.

And I came home and got a postcard from a close friend with the verse from the beginning of this post.

It made me wonder if for me, if I lo…